It’s time again to do something for your little girl: her birthday party is coming, and she’s turning SEVEN! Not only is seven a “big deal” for her, but it’s her Golden Birthday, so you know you have to come through. How about a Barbie birthday party theme this year?

I’m going to pretend that you’re interested. That way, I can continue writing this article.

First of all, let’s try to remember that you’re a DAD. So there will be no hiring of women that actually LOOK like Barbie; that’s not the point. The point is to allow your daughter to imagine she’s in the magical WORLD of Barbie, complete with dragons and fairies. What? You didn’t think Barbie existed in fantasy worlds? Get it together and watch the movies; they’re actually pretty good with great music and many famous actors doing some of the voices.

You’re going to need Barbie dolls, and lots of them. Don’t worry: they’re cheap. Go to Goodwill or the Salvation Army store, and you’ll find a bunch of them for less than a dollar. Plus, they will most likely have the creepy-looking generic ones that usually pass for Barbies. Usually. Boy, are they creepy, though.

Get a lot of pastel colors and put them all over the house, too. Barbie is nothing if not a pastel-loving chick.

Make sure when you send out the invitations that you specify that it will indeed be a Barbie party. Let them know they need to bring their Barbies and all of the clothes. Also, some parents aren’t really keen on the Barbie idea, so this will let them know ahead of time what they’re getting into.

Spread the Barbies all over the house. I recommend buying one Barbie for every girl who comes to the party. That way, everyone can leave with one. A gift for showing up!

They’ll love it, and your daughter will get a real kick out of it.