“Every little girl is a princess.” Has anyone ever seen the movie A Little Princess? Well, the main character says that, and if it’s in a movie – especially a GOOD one – then it must be true. This year, as my daughter turns eight years old, I’m going to have a princess birthday party theme. I’ll explain.

If you’re thinking that eight is too old, maybe you’re right. In fact, I’ve actually decided that I’m not going to do this anymore. But since I already started typing about this, I’ll engage you in a topic about what I WOULD do, had my daughter been a couple years younger, and had I thought of this marvelous idea then.

First, you want to make sure that everyone knows it’s going to actually BE a princess birthday theme – you wouldn’t want them thinking it’s a Liberace theme and show up with sequins and carrying large pianos. It could happen.

So once you let them know, all you really have to do is have a few dresses, some tiaras, and some wands (make sure you get enough for EVERYbody). And they’re extremely affordable, too; they’re usually in the party section at your local evil corporation big store. They’ll come in bags full of them.

Get some fabric and let the kids tell you what to make with it. I’d buy pastel colors, since everything in the clouds is purple and pink, you know.

Speaking of clouds, grab an old pillow you don’t want anymore and rip all the stuffing out, making it LOOK like clouds. On second thought, don’t use one of YOUR pillows for this; take your mother-in-law’s bedtime head rest and destroy it, ripping it to shreds. She’s been staying with you too long, anyway. And she knows it. Everyone knows it. She’s draining you. It’s time you stood up to her. Are you a man, or are you a little boy?

Back on topic, make sure you get little princess prizes for everyone, and get nametags. All the girls will be “Lady” something, and all the boys – should some show up – will be “Sir” something.

I think it’s a fantastic idea, and if I really even HAD a daughter, it’s what I would do.

Don’t judge me.